The Oxford fuckin' comma

Excuse the cussing, I'm just excited. The Oxford comma is also known as a serial comma or a Harvard comma. It's the comma that comes before the 'and' in a series of things. Like this:

I named my new pet lizards Boobie, Bunko, Crandall, and Toosh. Thanks for agreeing to babysit them!

The comma after Crandall - that's the Oxford Comma. It's controversial because some people think a comma after 'and' looks messy and the 'and' is enough to indicate Crandall and Toosh are two separate lizard names. Usually, the ‘and’ is enough. But. The Oxford Comma is like a seatbelt - most of the time, you won't need it but on the few occasions you do, you'll be very happy to have it. And it's good to be in the habit of using it every time you drive because why not, ey.

And just like not wearing a seatbelt, on those few occasions when you need the Oxford comma, you realllly need it. Let's replay the above scenario without a sound understanding of the Oxford comma.

I named my new pet lizards Boobie, Bunko, Crandall and Toosh. Thanks for agreeing to babysit them!

You arrive at your weird friend's house, let yourself in, and head straight to the massive, heated lizard enclosure they've set up in the living room. You count the lizards but only see three. Where's number four, where's Toosh? You count again. You climb into the lizard enclosure with a handful of flies hoping to lure Toosh out of hiding but he's nowhere to be seen. You call your weird friend but they don't answer. You get back in the enclosure and start crawling around, looking for Toosh. You nearly crush Bunko as you do so. Boobie is becoming distressed and making an unholy sound. Crandall lunges for the enclosure door and you snap it shut just in time. Then your phone rings on the other side of the living room. After extracting yourself and shaking the dead flies out of your hair, you answer and your weird friend explains.

"Oh, no, don't freak out! I only have three lizards, one of them is called Crandall and Toosh!" they say.

"Sorry, I must have flies in my ears,” you reply. “Are you saying you named your third lizard 'Crandall and Toosh'."

"Yeah! It was my Gran's name so it's really special."

"Your granny was named Crandall..."

"Crandall and Toosh, yes."

At this point, you hang up the phone, throw a handful of pellets and flies into the lizards, and walk out the door vowing to never speak to your weird friend again. This is what happens, people, when the Oxford comma isn't widely understood!

As you can see, the Oxford comma is handy for getting in front of misunderstandings. And it’s even more helpful in a list where the items aren’t all the same. Instead of labouring over more lizard examples, here's a collection of Oxford comma memes that explain it better than I ever could.

One extra thing to consider about the Oxford comma is: if your list contains an item connected with an 'and' (like in the case of the lizard named Crandall and Toosh), try not to place that item at the end of the list to avoid confusion. Like so:

I named my new pet lizards Boobie, Crandall and Toosh, and Bunko. Thanks for agreeing to babysit them!

You could even use an ampersand (like 'Crandall & Toosh') to distinguish the compound item from the other items.

TL;DR? When writing a list of things, use an Oxford comma after the penultimate list item and before the 'and' to avoid both confusion and crawling around inside a lizard enclosure.